The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love brings tremendous significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to incredibly difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings browse this site of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

However, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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