The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to very tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual see this here attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Numerous gay males want to learn from the starting if a potential partner is going this post to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options read here by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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