The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .

However when problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- wikipedia reference while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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